some mid-week jokes ;)

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."


2)

There was four long time friends who met up for dinner. Each of them started to talk about how successful their sons are in their careers. The first man said, "My son is the CEO of a comapny that deals with electronics. He is so rich he is able to buy a ferrari for his best friend as a present on his birthday." The second man then said, "My son owns a commercial airlines company. He is very wealthy and is able to give his best friend a private jet as a present on his birthday." The thrid man not wanting to loose out said, "My son is also doing very well, he owns several oil fields in the Middle East region and he gave his best friend a bungalow as a present on his birthday." The fourth man returned from the toilet and the three other men decided to ask him how well is his son doing. He replied, "Oh, my son is gay." The three men were shocked and decided to console him. "But he is doing pretty well too. On his birthday he got a ferrari, a private jet and a bungalow as presents from his best friends."


3)
Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.

The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and pursuade them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o
and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."

"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to the 2nd guy)

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."

"156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!"

"Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and told them, 'This is your asshole before prison...."